From mother to carer overnight - National Carers Week 2016

To celebrate National Carers Week 2016, we speak with Linda – the mother of our latest appeal Jake about how she went  from mother to mother and carer overnight following a cancer diagnosis.

Tell us about the going from being mother of 25 year old to the mother and carer of 25 year old receiving treatment for cancer.

I suppose as a mother you are a carer in a sense, but when you are told that your son has leukaemia the carer definition takes on a whole new meaning – it is absolutely devastating.  It is almost an indescribable feeling.

We were overseas when we received a phone call at 2am, “Jake has leukaemia.” We felt numb. We flew home as fast as we could to be with him.

To watch him go through four rounds of chemo and three days of full body radiation was tough, but he was amazing.

It was difficult. Jake aged 25, is an independent man and was in charge but as a mother, I wanted to take on some of the burden.  It was the most emotional time I have ever experienced. Jake was so incredibly strong and ready to fight the battle to beat leukaemia.

When we were told a matched bone marrow donor couldn’t be found it was a serious set-back. Fortunately a matched donor for a stem cell transplant was found through Fight Cancer Foundation’s Cord Blood Bank.

How did your support networks swing into action when you received the news of Jake’s diagnosis?

The support network had already swung into action before we had even arrived home from overseas.  Jake’s older sisters Kate & Beth had taken charge – they, together with Jake for the first 2 days, listened to the diagnosis, survival statistics, treatment plans and accompanied him to various appointments. The Royal Melbourne Hospital is four hours from home, so friends in our town offered support, “Just let us know what we can do.”  The hospital network arranged accommodation, parking, education and moral support for us as well. This support was invaluable – when you’re in a state of shock even the simplest of tasks seem overwhelming.

Before the transplant, Jake was admitted back into The Royal Melbourne Hospital and Fight Cancer Foundation offered us accommodation very close to the hospital.  This was amazing, to be within walking distance and have a two bedroom apartment made coping much easier. It enabled family members to come and stay. In the weeks following the transplant and discharge, living somewhere so close to the hospital made attending daily appointments so much easier.

Being part of the Fight Cancer Foundation family meant more than just accommodation. Living with others who are going through the same upheaval was supportive, and the House Manager chatted and listened, no matter what state I was in.  In addition, Fight Cancer Foundation kept us connected to life, offering various social events which provided a much-needed and appreciated break from the realities that we were dealing with.

What is the main piece of advice you have for other people who find themselves caring for a loved one fighting cancer?

This is a tough question, because I suspect it is different for everyone.

Think positive, stay positive, strap on the seat belt and go for the ride and support your loved one as best you can.

It is the hardest thing you will ever do, if help is offered, take it. If you are not coping ask for help – there is great support available.